In the little letter to the Ephesian believers, the Apostle Paul spoke of the “armor of God.” There he encouraged us to put it all on in order to be prepared to "stand against the devil’s schemes.”
Jesus identified the devil as “a liar”, in fact, “the father of lies.” The devil was the thief Jesus was thinking about as He said, “the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life . . .”
This week, I found myself thinking about that lying thief and his sinster schemes. Here is what came to me: “The true thief, Satan, works in us to cause us to view the Creator – the Giver of ever good and perfect gift – as a thief. Thus, when he is successful, we resist full surrender to God out of fear of what He will take from us.” God is not denying things in my life because He wants to TAKE from me. He is not denying things in your life because He wants to TAKE from you. He wants to give us the best. Lord, You are my truth; deliver me from that liar.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
My New Philosophy of Life
Thanks to an e-mail from an old high school friend (make that, former high school friend), I have adopted a new philosophy of life. Here is my adaptation of the philosophy she sent: Drink, Steal, Swear & Lie.
DRINK - Every day I will drink from the everlasting cup of truth and grace.
STEAL - I will steal a moment to help someone in worse shape than I.
SWEAR - I will swear to be more like Jesus today than I was yesterday.
LIE - And, I will lie down at night, thanking God for the many blessings that I enjoy.”
Actually, this philosophy is not new to me; it's just a new way of expressing the one I attempt to live by, one day at a time. If you think this philosophy is good, I invite you to join me today.
DRINK - Every day I will drink from the everlasting cup of truth and grace.
STEAL - I will steal a moment to help someone in worse shape than I.
SWEAR - I will swear to be more like Jesus today than I was yesterday.
LIE - And, I will lie down at night, thanking God for the many blessings that I enjoy.”
Actually, this philosophy is not new to me; it's just a new way of expressing the one I attempt to live by, one day at a time. If you think this philosophy is good, I invite you to join me today.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday Morning Going Up
Back in 1970, Johnny Cash recorded a Kris Kristofferson song about a hung-over guy experiencing Sunday morning. It was titled, Sunday Morning Coming Down. In 1970 I was neither in church nor in Christ. (If you don’t know the difference, I would be happy to explain.) So, I could relate to those lyrics, especially these from the chorus: “I’m wishing, Lord, that I was stoned, ‘cause there’s something in a Sunday that makes a body feel alone . . .”
But then, I got saved. I came to Jesus. I came to church. Now, on Sunday mornings I am typically going up.
For over 35 years, I have been an active participant in church life. Unless I am sick or something really unusual is going on in my life that prevents it, you would find me in church somewhere each Lord’s Day. It is not religious devotion. It is relational devotion. My highest priority is to know, love & serve the God who made me and my Lord who saved me.
I will admit, every Sunday is not a fantastic experience for me. In fact, I have experienced Sundays in which I am inclined to feel that I would have been better off to have slept in. I have resisted the temptation to give into that line of thought.
You see, the church life is life maintenance to me. It is a spiritual discipline that has helped me mature, find and live-out my purpose, and build strength to face and overcome destructive temptations. Because church attendance is habitual for me, I didn’t miss church this week. I am so glad.
First, the worship team led us to exalt our God, the One who created this magnificent world in which we live, the One who created me, the One who loved me and brought me back to Himself. There I experienced moments of genuine connection with the Creator.
At communion time, one of our elders gave a meditation inspired by a leadership conference he had attended last week. He spoke about repentance. He first mentioned our typical thinking about repentance – repenting of the wrong things we have done. Then he called us to think of something else. How often have I repented for my motives when doing right things? Do I ever do right things with motives that are less than pure? Oh yes. It was an excellent reminder. It provided a moment of needed honesty between this creature and his Creator.
The preacher spoke about the compatibility of Scripture and science. It was an excellent message, excellently presented. It created no great shifts in my belief system; but my belief system certainly received some solid structural support. I am sure I need this regular stimulation. It helps keep my thinking sane and sober as I live in a world that is not.
Thank you, God, for the gift of The Church. Thank you, God, for my church.
But then, I got saved. I came to Jesus. I came to church. Now, on Sunday mornings I am typically going up.
For over 35 years, I have been an active participant in church life. Unless I am sick or something really unusual is going on in my life that prevents it, you would find me in church somewhere each Lord’s Day. It is not religious devotion. It is relational devotion. My highest priority is to know, love & serve the God who made me and my Lord who saved me.
I will admit, every Sunday is not a fantastic experience for me. In fact, I have experienced Sundays in which I am inclined to feel that I would have been better off to have slept in. I have resisted the temptation to give into that line of thought.
You see, the church life is life maintenance to me. It is a spiritual discipline that has helped me mature, find and live-out my purpose, and build strength to face and overcome destructive temptations. Because church attendance is habitual for me, I didn’t miss church this week. I am so glad.
First, the worship team led us to exalt our God, the One who created this magnificent world in which we live, the One who created me, the One who loved me and brought me back to Himself. There I experienced moments of genuine connection with the Creator.
At communion time, one of our elders gave a meditation inspired by a leadership conference he had attended last week. He spoke about repentance. He first mentioned our typical thinking about repentance – repenting of the wrong things we have done. Then he called us to think of something else. How often have I repented for my motives when doing right things? Do I ever do right things with motives that are less than pure? Oh yes. It was an excellent reminder. It provided a moment of needed honesty between this creature and his Creator.
The preacher spoke about the compatibility of Scripture and science. It was an excellent message, excellently presented. It created no great shifts in my belief system; but my belief system certainly received some solid structural support. I am sure I need this regular stimulation. It helps keep my thinking sane and sober as I live in a world that is not.
Thank you, God, for the gift of The Church. Thank you, God, for my church.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Kudos to President Obama
I don’t agree with President Obama very often. His idea that it is the federal government’s job to provide healthcare for everyone is certainly a point of disagreement. His idea that it is government’s job to “spread the wealth around” is another point of disagreement. In spite of strong, serious disagreements with the man, I recently read a quotation of our president that made me want to give him a standing ovation.
In a recent article on Time.com, entitled Is there Hope for the American Marriage?, author Caitlin Flanagan quoted our president. She stated that Obama, like Bush and Clinton before him, holds strong views of supporting marriage. This is likely due to mounting evidence that divorce generally harms children. Divorce always disrupts the relationship of children with their parents to some degree. It often disrupts the relationship of fathers with their children profoundly. Here is what she said Barack Obama said regarding the need of fathers in the lives of children: "We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one."
It is true that many fathers choose not to be involved in their children’s lives after divorce. Sometimes that diminished involvement is chosen for them. That is, many mothers do not want anything to do with the father of their children, and therefore, assume that their children feel the same or will come to feel the same in time. We really need mothers and fathers that will work at being husbands and wives. We need couples who realize that their real task begins after the wedding, after the honeymoon. And they must have the courage and skills to build a strong marriage. Sometimes, they need the humility to admit that they don’t have the skills necessary to do this.
In a recent article on Time.com, entitled Is there Hope for the American Marriage?, author Caitlin Flanagan quoted our president. She stated that Obama, like Bush and Clinton before him, holds strong views of supporting marriage. This is likely due to mounting evidence that divorce generally harms children. Divorce always disrupts the relationship of children with their parents to some degree. It often disrupts the relationship of fathers with their children profoundly. Here is what she said Barack Obama said regarding the need of fathers in the lives of children: "We need fathers to step up, to realize that their job does not end at conception; that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child but the courage to raise one."
It is true that many fathers choose not to be involved in their children’s lives after divorce. Sometimes that diminished involvement is chosen for them. That is, many mothers do not want anything to do with the father of their children, and therefore, assume that their children feel the same or will come to feel the same in time. We really need mothers and fathers that will work at being husbands and wives. We need couples who realize that their real task begins after the wedding, after the honeymoon. And they must have the courage and skills to build a strong marriage. Sometimes, they need the humility to admit that they don’t have the skills necessary to do this.
Friday, July 24, 2009
Obama a Racist?
President Obama found it necessary to express condemnation of police officer James Crowley’s arrest of Henry Louis Gates Jr. Officer Crowley is a mere Sergeant with the Cambridge, Massachusetts, police department. Mr. Gates is a Harvard history professor. Sergeant Crowley is Caucasian. Mr. Gates is Black. Admitting that he did not know all the facts, President Obama publicly stated that Sergeant Crowley acted “stupidly” in the line of duty. It was clearly a “black and white” issue to our president.
Sergeant Crowley responded to a report of two black men apparently trying to break into a home. According to news reports, upon returning from a trip, Mr. Gates discovered his front door jammed. With the help of his cab driver, he “broke into” his own home. This “break in” by two black men was observed by someone who called the police to report it. Minutes later, when Sergeant Crowley arrived, Mr. Gates was inside his home. The cabby had gone. The details are not all clear, but the officer ordered Mr. Gates to step outside and show ID that would verify that he was, in fact, the homeowner. Something then transpired between Gates and Crowley which led to Mr. Gates being arrested for “disorderly conduct” by Officer Crowley.
I heard Sergeant Crowley interviewed about the situation. He was adamant that he had precisely followed protocol in the incident, that he had done nothing wrong. This was supported by the fact that his actions were approved in a police department investigation of the incident.
In that interview, Sergeant Crowley explained that he was responding to a reported break in by two black men. He did not know the home owner, did not know if the black man who represented himself as the homeowner was, in fact, the homeowner or perhaps one of the men who had reportedly “broken into” this home. Furthermore, if the man who represented himself as the homeowner was, the homeowner, Sergeant Crowley did not know if the man was aware that thieves were perhaps inside his home. For his own safety, the officer asked Mr. Gates to step outside. Sergeant Crowley was careful in his interview not to reveal details of what went on between him and Mr. Gates. Apparently, Mr. Gates got mouthy with the officer and resisted his instructions.
I assume this because of an Internet article I read which was as against the police officer as President Obama was in his remarks. The author stated that “you have a right to talk back to a cop.” Apparently, that author knew more detail about what went on that led to Mr. Gates arrest than I do.
Personally, I am sick of the racist remarks that come from blacks like our president. For him to jump to the conclusion that the white guy was out of line, that this is somehow related to “racial profiling”, is the product of a racist mindset. For the past 40 years, I have heard innumerable references to racism and prejudice. About 99.9% of these references have suggested or implied that these were exclusively Caucasian sins. Well, they are not. They are human sins, sins as practiced by blacks as any race. I think our president’s statements serve as case in point.
I was raised to respect authority. I was raised not to talk back to authorities. In my mind, if Mr. Gates had respected the authority of the officer, done what the officer asked, this could have all been resolved without incident. I wonder if Mr. Gates carried a prejudice that affected how he responded to the orders of a WHITE officer. No one would dare suggest that an esteemed black professor from Harvard would be prejudiced. Well, no one but me, perhaps.
Our police officers put themselves in harms way for us everyday. We should expect them to behave rationally and legally. We should also expect citizens to cooperate with officers in their line of duty. If they show up at my front door for no known reason and ask me to step outside, I will step outside. If they tell me to get on the ground, I will get on the ground. This, I think, is the responsibility of the law-abiding, law-respecting citizen. I wonder if anything close to this is taught in our public schools. Or, are our kids taught, “You have a right to talk back to cops”?
Mr. President, you owe Sergeant Crowley an apology. I am waiting.
Sergeant Crowley responded to a report of two black men apparently trying to break into a home. According to news reports, upon returning from a trip, Mr. Gates discovered his front door jammed. With the help of his cab driver, he “broke into” his own home. This “break in” by two black men was observed by someone who called the police to report it. Minutes later, when Sergeant Crowley arrived, Mr. Gates was inside his home. The cabby had gone. The details are not all clear, but the officer ordered Mr. Gates to step outside and show ID that would verify that he was, in fact, the homeowner. Something then transpired between Gates and Crowley which led to Mr. Gates being arrested for “disorderly conduct” by Officer Crowley.
I heard Sergeant Crowley interviewed about the situation. He was adamant that he had precisely followed protocol in the incident, that he had done nothing wrong. This was supported by the fact that his actions were approved in a police department investigation of the incident.
In that interview, Sergeant Crowley explained that he was responding to a reported break in by two black men. He did not know the home owner, did not know if the black man who represented himself as the homeowner was, in fact, the homeowner or perhaps one of the men who had reportedly “broken into” this home. Furthermore, if the man who represented himself as the homeowner was, the homeowner, Sergeant Crowley did not know if the man was aware that thieves were perhaps inside his home. For his own safety, the officer asked Mr. Gates to step outside. Sergeant Crowley was careful in his interview not to reveal details of what went on between him and Mr. Gates. Apparently, Mr. Gates got mouthy with the officer and resisted his instructions.
I assume this because of an Internet article I read which was as against the police officer as President Obama was in his remarks. The author stated that “you have a right to talk back to a cop.” Apparently, that author knew more detail about what went on that led to Mr. Gates arrest than I do.
Personally, I am sick of the racist remarks that come from blacks like our president. For him to jump to the conclusion that the white guy was out of line, that this is somehow related to “racial profiling”, is the product of a racist mindset. For the past 40 years, I have heard innumerable references to racism and prejudice. About 99.9% of these references have suggested or implied that these were exclusively Caucasian sins. Well, they are not. They are human sins, sins as practiced by blacks as any race. I think our president’s statements serve as case in point.
I was raised to respect authority. I was raised not to talk back to authorities. In my mind, if Mr. Gates had respected the authority of the officer, done what the officer asked, this could have all been resolved without incident. I wonder if Mr. Gates carried a prejudice that affected how he responded to the orders of a WHITE officer. No one would dare suggest that an esteemed black professor from Harvard would be prejudiced. Well, no one but me, perhaps.
Our police officers put themselves in harms way for us everyday. We should expect them to behave rationally and legally. We should also expect citizens to cooperate with officers in their line of duty. If they show up at my front door for no known reason and ask me to step outside, I will step outside. If they tell me to get on the ground, I will get on the ground. This, I think, is the responsibility of the law-abiding, law-respecting citizen. I wonder if anything close to this is taught in our public schools. Or, are our kids taught, “You have a right to talk back to cops”?
Mr. President, you owe Sergeant Crowley an apology. I am waiting.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
A Report Card From God
When I was in graduate school back in the 80’s, some of the most important lessons I learned were not a planned part of the curriculum. One of these lessons happened at the end of a semester after I had finished all of the course work and taken all the final exams.
I went through grad school at the rate of two courses per semester (six credit hours). I worked a full-time job and was married with four children at the time. This particular semester I had chosen to take three courses (nine credit hours) in order to be able to finish the degree program in one more year. I knew it would be a stretch, but felt confident that I could handle the additional load.
At this point I had managed to keep a 4.O grade point average. My GPA had not been a major issue to me, at least consciously. In one of my courses this semester I got a “low B” grade on a major assignment. Immediately, my GPA became a conscious concern. I knew that I would have to work hard to keep the grade on that assignment from costing me an “A” in the course. So, the rest of the semester I poured in extra effort in hopes of preserving my perfect GPA.
So, when all the work was done, I hoped that I had done enough. I knew it would be close. Waiting for the grades to be posted was difficult that semester. It surprised me to realize how much I thought about those grades. Finally, the grades were posted. I got a “B” in that class.
I felt moderate disappointment. I had prepared myself not to be greatly disappointed. Then, I encountered a totally unexpected experience. God spoke to me. Now, I am not one who boasts of hearing God speak to me personally very often. This was one occasion.
While I was contemplating the dinged GPA, I heard God ask me three questions. First, He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a husband this semester?” Then He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a father this semester?” Finally, He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a minister this semester?” The questions pricked my heart. I knew immediately what He was getting at. I had cut corners in each of these areas in order to devote more energy into preserving that GPA that I had previously thought didn’t really matter to me. He didn’t give me the grades. He didn’t need to. The questions were sufficient.
We both knew I wouldn’t be getting “A’s” there. Now, I wouldn’t be getting “D’s” or “F’s” either. I was being fairly responsible in these three areas. No one was complaining that I remember. Not my wife, not my children, not my parishioners. Still, I honestly knew I was slacking off in those areas in order to invest elsewhere.
God was not shaming me in this interchange. He was showing me my heart. I would work hard for the tangible affirmation of a professor’s grade. And that was much easier to pursue in the academic world than at home or at work. Sometimes in my marriage, in my role as a father, and even in my work I wonder about the grade people would give me. I think I’m passing, but not always sure I’m doing really well. Sometimes I think a syllabus with specific objectives and a concrete grading system for each of my roles would be advantageous. I might know where I stand. But then, I might not like where I stand. I am grateful for the grace of God. Though He sees things about my heart that no others see, He loves and accepts me still. And I had a powerful refresher course in that great truth as God spoke to me by His Spirit that day. It remains a precious memory to this day.
I went through grad school at the rate of two courses per semester (six credit hours). I worked a full-time job and was married with four children at the time. This particular semester I had chosen to take three courses (nine credit hours) in order to be able to finish the degree program in one more year. I knew it would be a stretch, but felt confident that I could handle the additional load.
At this point I had managed to keep a 4.O grade point average. My GPA had not been a major issue to me, at least consciously. In one of my courses this semester I got a “low B” grade on a major assignment. Immediately, my GPA became a conscious concern. I knew that I would have to work hard to keep the grade on that assignment from costing me an “A” in the course. So, the rest of the semester I poured in extra effort in hopes of preserving my perfect GPA.
So, when all the work was done, I hoped that I had done enough. I knew it would be close. Waiting for the grades to be posted was difficult that semester. It surprised me to realize how much I thought about those grades. Finally, the grades were posted. I got a “B” in that class.
I felt moderate disappointment. I had prepared myself not to be greatly disappointed. Then, I encountered a totally unexpected experience. God spoke to me. Now, I am not one who boasts of hearing God speak to me personally very often. This was one occasion.
While I was contemplating the dinged GPA, I heard God ask me three questions. First, He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a husband this semester?” Then He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a father this semester?” Finally, He asked, “Would you like to see the grade I would give you as a minister this semester?” The questions pricked my heart. I knew immediately what He was getting at. I had cut corners in each of these areas in order to devote more energy into preserving that GPA that I had previously thought didn’t really matter to me. He didn’t give me the grades. He didn’t need to. The questions were sufficient.
We both knew I wouldn’t be getting “A’s” there. Now, I wouldn’t be getting “D’s” or “F’s” either. I was being fairly responsible in these three areas. No one was complaining that I remember. Not my wife, not my children, not my parishioners. Still, I honestly knew I was slacking off in those areas in order to invest elsewhere.
God was not shaming me in this interchange. He was showing me my heart. I would work hard for the tangible affirmation of a professor’s grade. And that was much easier to pursue in the academic world than at home or at work. Sometimes in my marriage, in my role as a father, and even in my work I wonder about the grade people would give me. I think I’m passing, but not always sure I’m doing really well. Sometimes I think a syllabus with specific objectives and a concrete grading system for each of my roles would be advantageous. I might know where I stand. But then, I might not like where I stand. I am grateful for the grace of God. Though He sees things about my heart that no others see, He loves and accepts me still. And I had a powerful refresher course in that great truth as God spoke to me by His Spirit that day. It remains a precious memory to this day.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
On Being a Father
I first became a father at the age of 28. I remember the experience very well. While my son was being born on one floor of the hospital, I was trying to pass a kidney stone on another floor. After he was born, the hospital was gracious enough to wheel me up or down to his floor. I was allowed to see him and his mother at what hospital staff deemed a safe distance. Because I was a patient, they would not risk me getting close enough to give either of them a kidney stone.
I recall the distinct feeling of disappointment when I first saw Stacy. He was the first newborn I had ever seen. He was probably less than half an hour old and not totally cleaned up from the birthing experience. He didn’t look cute at all. Thankfully, the next time I saw him, he had morphed into the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. He is still a pretty handsome guy.
When Stacy was just two years old, his mom divorced me. Soon after the divorce, his mom moved to another part of the state. With about a three hour drive – each way – between us, a lifelong strain on our relationship was created. Most of the visits for the first couple of years were pretty short and fairly infrequent. What do you do with a two or three year old for a few hours?
In 1979, I became father to two more awesome kids. In November of that year I married Kathy. She had Steve and Kris, her two children by her first marriage. Their dad had died in an accident on the mission field in Brazil in 1973. As we planned our marriage, we also set in motion the legal process whereby I would adopt these two kids. That was official on December, 7th of that year.
I had had a close friendship with Kathy and her children for a couple of years before we became family. The kids were ripe for a dad and I was glad to be theirs. It didn’t take long before they were comfortable calling me “Dad” instead of Dane. And today, almost 30 years later, I can’t imagine feeling any closer to Steve and Kris if they were my natural children. We are family. And the bonds of family are relational bonds of love rather than mere genetic bonds.
So far, I have introduced three kids who know me as Dad. I have one more. Kathy and I had our son, Adam, in 1981. I affectionately refer to him as the caboose of our family. Between the time when Stacy was born and when Adam was born, a lot of changes had taken place in the medical world, especially regarding birthing. In the 80’s, Dad’s were encouraged to be in the actual labor room to participate in the birth process. I remember Dr. Sholl receiving our little boy from the womb, handing him to a nurse who cleaned him up, wrapped him up, and handed him to me! Wow! What a wonderful, indescribable, joyful experience!
Being a Dad is not easy. I can remember feeling the weight of responsibility to provide for my family. I also remember feeling like there wasn’t enough of me to go around to fill the various roles of my life as a minister and a family man. My kids have at times wanted me to provide them more and better stuff than I did. I, at times, wanted to provide them with more and better stuff than I did. I was far from perfect as a dad, but I made an earnest effort to provide my children an active, involved, caring dad. Kathy and I worked together to give them a reasonably wholesome, stable home life. And we have released our children to be their own persons. They are each in our daily prayers.
Regrets? Sure. I wish I had spent more one-on-one time with each of my children. I wish I had handled challenges to my authority more graciously. I wish I had been able to figure out how to further reduce the losses divorce brought to me, to Stacy, and to our relationship.
In spite of the presence of these regrets, I am thankful for the love of three sons, one daughter, five granddaughters, and two grandsons. Being a father is one obvious aspect of the grace of God in my life. Not only has this blessed me, it has served to mature me. Scripture affirms that children are “a reward from [the Lord]” and grandchildren “are a crown to [their grandparents]" (PS 127:3; PR 17:6). Amen!
I recall the distinct feeling of disappointment when I first saw Stacy. He was the first newborn I had ever seen. He was probably less than half an hour old and not totally cleaned up from the birthing experience. He didn’t look cute at all. Thankfully, the next time I saw him, he had morphed into the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. He is still a pretty handsome guy.
When Stacy was just two years old, his mom divorced me. Soon after the divorce, his mom moved to another part of the state. With about a three hour drive – each way – between us, a lifelong strain on our relationship was created. Most of the visits for the first couple of years were pretty short and fairly infrequent. What do you do with a two or three year old for a few hours?
In 1979, I became father to two more awesome kids. In November of that year I married Kathy. She had Steve and Kris, her two children by her first marriage. Their dad had died in an accident on the mission field in Brazil in 1973. As we planned our marriage, we also set in motion the legal process whereby I would adopt these two kids. That was official on December, 7th of that year.
I had had a close friendship with Kathy and her children for a couple of years before we became family. The kids were ripe for a dad and I was glad to be theirs. It didn’t take long before they were comfortable calling me “Dad” instead of Dane. And today, almost 30 years later, I can’t imagine feeling any closer to Steve and Kris if they were my natural children. We are family. And the bonds of family are relational bonds of love rather than mere genetic bonds.
So far, I have introduced three kids who know me as Dad. I have one more. Kathy and I had our son, Adam, in 1981. I affectionately refer to him as the caboose of our family. Between the time when Stacy was born and when Adam was born, a lot of changes had taken place in the medical world, especially regarding birthing. In the 80’s, Dad’s were encouraged to be in the actual labor room to participate in the birth process. I remember Dr. Sholl receiving our little boy from the womb, handing him to a nurse who cleaned him up, wrapped him up, and handed him to me! Wow! What a wonderful, indescribable, joyful experience!
Being a Dad is not easy. I can remember feeling the weight of responsibility to provide for my family. I also remember feeling like there wasn’t enough of me to go around to fill the various roles of my life as a minister and a family man. My kids have at times wanted me to provide them more and better stuff than I did. I, at times, wanted to provide them with more and better stuff than I did. I was far from perfect as a dad, but I made an earnest effort to provide my children an active, involved, caring dad. Kathy and I worked together to give them a reasonably wholesome, stable home life. And we have released our children to be their own persons. They are each in our daily prayers.
Regrets? Sure. I wish I had spent more one-on-one time with each of my children. I wish I had handled challenges to my authority more graciously. I wish I had been able to figure out how to further reduce the losses divorce brought to me, to Stacy, and to our relationship.
In spite of the presence of these regrets, I am thankful for the love of three sons, one daughter, five granddaughters, and two grandsons. Being a father is one obvious aspect of the grace of God in my life. Not only has this blessed me, it has served to mature me. Scripture affirms that children are “a reward from [the Lord]” and grandchildren “are a crown to [their grandparents]" (PS 127:3; PR 17:6). Amen!
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